Following some lovely R & R over a lockdown Christmas, I was looking forward to starting my new role. Other than a few usual apprehensions, I felt reasonably relaxed and excited to start. It can be dauting for anyone being the newbie, however I find some reassurance in reminding myself that it is quite likely that little will be expected of me to begin with. There is also likely a period of introduction and induction, especially amidst a global pandemic and national lockdown.
Firstly, as I had hoped, everyone was so friendly, helpful but also encouraging. Commencing a completely new post, I was frequently asked if I was permanent and when I confirmed this, I was met with a sense of surprise and enthusiasm that I was joining the team and sticking around. That was nice and reassuring. I had several people tell me how lovely the team were, and that it was a nice place to work. As a newbie, that was exactly what I needed to hear. Due to COVID-19 restrictions still in place, all staff including myself were wearing hospital scrubs and masks, which made introductions extremely difficult regarding remembering names and faces. Staff quickly acknowledged this and expressed that even prior to PPE they often did not remember everyone on the ward and could forget names and faces, which was also very reassuring. Additionally, I had not even considered the potential difficulty of finding my way around a hospital inpatient unit. What seems a reasonably small unit, still became a maze of several offices, corridors, and wards to remember. My sense of direction and spatial awareness and was quickly tested. However, even after just one week I did start to recognise the quickest or shortest way of getting from a to b.
I did feel slightly unsettled as my role is over two services, the inpatient ward and the intensive community team so will be hot-desking between both services and their offices. This led to a feeling of not really having a space to call my own, but this will come in time I am sure. I also felt very aware of seeming like a shadow at times, often following my supervisor in what feels like a lost puppy, due to having limited knowledge of and access to the admission unit.
Working with a new client group, I also found quite daunting. Not because of the client group themselves, but the expectations of how I should behave and portray myself around them. Having worked briefly with young people previously, I am aware of not ‘trying to become their friend’ however I have also learnt that young people with emotional and/or mental health difficulties can often be hyper vigilant, and I am cautious of them feeling that I have my guard up or that I am not approachable in any way. This is something I noted to discuss in supervision as I do not want to cause any of the young people to experience feelings of rejection if I present as too cautious regarding things such as self-disclosure. Something I noticed very quickly was just how insightful the young people are. They can be incredibly open and honest about how they are feeling towards staff and their often-difficult time being on the ward. This is something I hope to ease, regarding my presence and how I can make their admission as easy as possible.
Both my supervisors often apologised for some administrative delays resulting in at times there not being a lot to do. However, coming from a fast-paced role, I have appreciated the slower pace with some down time before my diary rapidly starts to fill. I recall an afternoon where I was able to sit and read some patient referral information in a quiet office on my own, which I really valued. It gave me some time to just catch my breath, familiarise myself with some patient files and reflect on what I had learnt so far.
Overall, it was a great first week. I often flit from excitement and apprehension about what the role may look like and what will be expected of me, but I just try to remind myself that it is incredibly early days and I still have plenty to observe and shadow before I will be let lose on working independently.