Since leaving university and joining the working world, although enjoying my roles, at times I did start to feel part of the ‘rat race’. Striving to get an Assistant Psychologist post, determined to get into the NHS and praying to get on the doctorate. All of which have felt impossible at times. They are exciting positions, however when the struggle is real, the pay is low, and the hours often feel long I found it difficult to be interested in psychology outside of the 9-5. I mean there really is more to life, right? Yes, but I think it is also important to love what you are doing and if you cannot think of anything worse outside of work, like me it might be worth asking yourself why.
I realised that often sitting at a computer for several hours a day reading and writing reports, significantly reduced my desire to read or write about psychology in my spare time. Which is okay. However, it was not fuelling my desire to learn or be more involved. Actually, it was making me feel like the end goal was impossible and at times I was not thoroughly enjoying the journey either. So, what did I do? Firstly, I recognised that I wanted to be around more like-minded people who I could relate to. After attending a local conference organised by Aspiring Psychologists, I enquired and discussed with my supervisor whether I could attend their regular group, which was agreed without hesitation. As a result of shortly after, going into a national lockdown, it meant that I was able to attend every month as the meetings were delivered remotely. This allowed me to attend more regularly so I became familiar with the other attendees and when they invited those interested to join the committee, I thought why not. If nothing else I felt I would love to be part of a group. This meant that I would be in contact with my peers on a regular basis, be involved in a support group of others like me and at the minimum I can add it to my CV.
After some discussion with my other half, I was encouraged to put pen to paper. Or rather in the technological world we live in today – intensified by a national lockdown – keyboard to social media. I felt really unsure about what I would do or how, as I certainly do not consider myself a writer, which then of course led to the imposter syndrome setting in. ‘I can’t write about psychology; I am not qualified; I can’t blog, I’m not a writer…’ I was challenged with ‘why not?’ and thought, what I could start with could be some reflective pieces to ease me in. Which is what I did. I found that by having something that needed content, I was accountable to dedicate some time to write. As I have said earlier, I do not claim to be an avid writer, but I have grown to enjoy the process and hope that I will improve along the way. This has also allowed me to connect with many likeminded others on the online community, which by default means that I am reading more about psychology in my spare time and has also inspired me to want to read more about it. Which for the first time in a long time (if ever) excites me. The main thing I have gained is that I have found a joy for psychology outside of work. I may not be helping anyone or teaching anything, but it has increased my desire to start my documenting my journey, which I am fully aware is only really just beginning. So here is hoping there is still much more to learn, reflect and write about.